If a guy has trust issues, does he conceal his emotions with physical affection?

by ShutterRunner

Question by Stronger than yesterday: If a guy has trust issues, does he conceal his emotions with physical affection?
Been writing about a study colleague who has shown interest this quarter – he’s showin through his actions more than words. About a little over a month ago, he took me out to dinner. I discovered he was “only physically attractive” to me. Though I was nice, I kept my reservations about him and kept caution. (And I made it VERY clear i was NOT going to give i up. I’m old fashioned w. that stuff; I am not a **** nor do I present myself in that way. I’d like to say I’m classy). Within the weeks, he opened up. He admitted he was the type who had a hard time trusting – he was VERY honest and blunt. Also he also said if he finds out if someone lies, it’s hard to trust. We cuddled, kisses (NO sex; I’m NOT an easy girl)…just physicaly close. Here’s the thing: once he moves forward and is affectionate, he moves 3 steps back. I am guarded myself and if he notices it, he takes 5 steps back. Complete mixed signals; i’m not one to pressure “labels” or titles but I wanted to know what was up and my intuition was tellin me to confront him.

I only discovered I was just a “kissing friend”. I was disguisted and he said it wasn’t a “big deal b/c its just a kiss and we didn’t exchange bodily fluids”. (WOW) Also he just does it b/c “it feels good and is fun”. (i don’t kiss guys unless i’m dating them and tha’s a MAYBE).He said if it really made me feel uncomfortable, there would be “no more kisses” and again asked me what our “label” should be – he put it in my hands but me (as a girl) thought since he was cluless about it, he just gave it to me to decide (and possible might not care). For someone who’s almost 30, he acts like he’s 13. He made last attempts (i think) to make me feel bad saying “guys have no emotions” and b/c i’m “pretty” guys will never look past my physical features. (i am NOT a **** nor do i present myself in that way). He wanted to leave or “talk on the phone” about it – i got my answer and just dropped him. Afer that night, he’s been doin things to get my attention – asking me for help/showing me things at lab (he’s the smartest guy in class), texting AND calling to ask where I am (when he knew i had another class/lab tht night). He invited me to eat w. some people and I was too sleepy and skipped out. In lecture (he sits in front of me), he texted me asking when i was leaving (had another committment to go to) AND turned around to tell me he had texted. He sits in the front row, texting in front of our prof. He offered to look at my lab results, record them, etc… Later that night, he texted me if I was stll awake. Finding more and more ways to keep in contact w. me b/c he knows I’m shuttin down doors of communication. He admits he never goes on FB (nor does he care) and just added me today.
WHY IS HE LIKE THIS? And what do you think? (Oh! and i’m naturally hard to get but not to the pt I play games. When my behavior shows him I’m done…he works his hardest, it seems).

Best answer:

Answer by freddie5472
Short answer: This guy sounds like drama and you need to distance yourself from him. Long answer: This guy sounds like he has something of a personality quirk when it comes to women and has severe issues being vulnerable. He obviously uses women and seeing how he is the “smartest guy in class” is using his status academically to pursue you. His issue with “trusting” people sounds like B.S. What I believe is it is more that he has to know what level you are with him, i.e. “friends”, “more than friends”, etc. so he knows whether or not he’s going to waste time in pursuing you. If you’re not interested in him don’t communicate with him. It it becomes more of an issue let him know that you don’t want to be more than simple acquaintances and hopefully the quarter will end soon and you can erase him from your life.

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